RieKairu Calo

Rookie - 0 Points (march 8,1995 / Philippines)

The Spirit Of Christmas


The spirit of Christmas
that was supposed to be share
to all the poeple!
who is longing & needed to be care
Christmas is just physically Christmas
without the spirit would it bare
& identify the unknown with a name in their face

The spirit of Christmas
is also a good news to be spread
to those people who's unable to shout
& to those poeple who's unable to stand

The spirit of Christmas
is not a magic but it's a love
that we show to poeple
who is covered with a lonely clouds
And the spirit of Christmas
is always true
that we dedicate to me
and to you
so go now!
and feel the spirit of Christmas in your heart
that we will perform
even to the last part

Submitted: Friday, December 11, 2009
Edited: Monday, October 13, 2014

Topic of this poem: Christmas


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  • Freshman - 1,599 Points Luis Estable (8/6/2010 9:27:00 AM)

    This poem is even weaker than the last one I read from you. Sometimes it falls apart for the several grammatical and spelling errors it contains. Let`s start:

    Poeple should be people, a lonely clouds should be a lonely cloud or lonely clouds. Talk to someone who knows grammar to explain this to you and why it should be so as I indicates here. Now comes a problem here that has to do with verb tenses. You wrote, to be share, and I think you might have meant to be shared. Here, too; you have; to be care, and I think you should write, to be cared. I am not going to explain here why this is for it would take too much space and this is not the venue for this sort of things. I am just giving some ideas on what I think you did wrong to the best of what I can do acoording to my knowledge of the tongue.

    Take care and never give up on your hopes and dreams; you have still much time to make them come true.

    The best to you.

    Luis (Report) Reply

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