Those Unspoken Words, 'your Dead' Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

I write to remember.
I write to to forget.
Letting go is so hard.
Sometimes it feels as if I'm drowning.
But physically I know I am fine.
Just trying to get you off mind.
Just trying to erase the past.
Wishing the pain would fade.
Just give me a dull ache.
Not the longing of a screaming heartache.
An escape, white noise, a distraction, any bliss is better then remembering that deadly kiss.
Searching to fill the unimaginable, unfathomable void that was left in your wake.
Just give me absolutely darkness, even in my dream I'm haunted by your face.
The truth of it, the tradgey of it.
Another statistic, no one even bats an eye.
I didn't get to say goodbye.
It's just not right, none of its right.
A reality I'm not ready to accept.
I can't even say those unspeakable words.
My lips start to move but nothing comes out.
Gasping just to breathe.
Yeah that's me in a light I never seen.
I kicked you out, and sent you on marry way.
I was so angry, but now I'm so broken.
Because it feels like its my fault, the guilt of we still had time.
So much unsaid, we grew up as kids on the wrong side of the tracks.
This wasn't the first time, but it is last.
And I hate myself for it.
There is no time like the present.
Words to live by with such fragile lives.
Snuff out without a second thought.
Goodbye by the graveside.
Memories to choke on as a life line.
Bring me out of the gutter.
Give me a drug, that lets me travel through time.
Because this feels like dying.
To infinity and beyond.
Reaching out for another breaking dawn.
And the final thoughts I have are your gone, so now I'll have to find a way to move on.