her ams around my upper body-
mine around her lower,
we whispered, laughed
(almost kissed!)
but didn’t and no further;
“I don’t want to, ” she said.
“use your body, ” for
I’ve the body of a male,
but identify otherwise.
“and I’m straight.”
well we continued to whisper, laugh,
(and almost-kiss)
at four, she went back to her dorm. I’m glad
she did. Friendship’s welcome
is warmer.
I snuggled to myself
with an austere sensation
yet perplexed with desolate vexation,
contemplating my prospects with her
if I'm not transgender.
(cont.) 2- If you revised the poem, i’d be interested in reading it. Lines 6-10 could be reworked, not using so many quotation marks, and perhaps beginning with ‘She said’. I liked ‘almost kissed’ and ‘almost-kiss’, BUT why use a hyphen with one and not the other? I’d not use either place. (cont.)
1- “Austere” has several definitions and many synonyms! ! ! Perhaps you could pin it down for the readers? But i see the only comment is dated 2013, so i fear it is too late for your high school revision work! ! It is unclear to me if YOU (or at least the poem’s speaker) ARE/is (a) “transgender”. TO ME, the last line could mean that you ARE or that you ARE NOT! ! ! (cont.)
Written with such an honest pen...on such a controversial topic. I invite you to read my poem, and notes, All Love Is Love...inspired by my gay brother getting married. You are brave to write with such emotion and I give your poem high praise in rating it 10! PEACE
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
(cont.) 3- OVERALL i liked the poem and esp. liked the part about “Friendship’s welcome”, but sexual intercourse/, , etc. can be lovely as well! ! ! I’ve not had a transgender experience, but a number of ‘straight/heterosexual’ ones. To MyPoemList. Bri (“