True Story Poem by Laura Kiernan

True Story

Rating: 1.9


The classes I attended today
Were French, Victorian Literature, and math
But no one learned anything
Because no one really learns at college

Outside on the streets
White Christians held signs condemning many:
Revilers, homosexuals, adulterers, thieves, etc.
I would have just walked by

But a seventeen-year-old boy stopped me
And handed me a pamphlet
And I told him I didn't want one
But he insisted

I told him I am an Indian
And though I find religion beautiful
I find it a little hard
To find God in a white world

He told me that the Indians were a blessed people
He said we will live in the Kingdom of Heaven
If we renounce our sins
And accept Jesus Christ into our hearts

I asked what sins he meant
Besides the usual ones
(Drinking, smoking, being born a woman, you know the drill)
What should I renounce?

He told me to renounce our wars
To renounce our drinking
To renounce our gambling
To renounce our abuse

I threw his pamphlet on the ground
And took a step toward him
My newly-bald head uncovered
When my jacket's hood fell to my shoulders

'You have taken our land
You have taken our languages
You have taken everything you wanted
And you think you are giving me a gift?

I don't want your gift
I don't want your sympathy
I don't want your help
And I don't want your God.'

He looked at me with sadness
And told me he wished I weren't going to hell
And I told him thanks for his concern
But that I wasn't his concern

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Joseph Daly 19 February 2008

Laura, please do away with the last stanza and this poem will be great. Don't try preaching. This is a really great poem, that will leave the reader to draw their own thoughts. It is as well that you posted on the forum otherwise I would have missed this. This poem shows a real talent (The title is a little unimaginative) as it has a lovely flow to it, as well as a musicality that seems to be natural as opposed to being forced. For me this is one of the best pieces from a newcomer I have read in a long time and it is a real pleasure. I wish you all the best and hope that you are not offended by my criticism. Just get rid of that stanza, it really ruins it. If you cannot see it now, then take my word, you will sooner or later.

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Ray Lucero 19 February 2008

Laura, You're story has been repeated countless times. The white man's god is patterned after their own fear and bigotry. Sadly, colleges today teach people how to make a living but not how to live. Most of my anger left me years ago...what's left are open eyes and compassion. If you have a chance read a few pieces I've written. Sun dance Anasazi Encounter Earth is my Church Land of the free home of the naive Spanish conquest and beyond Ghost Dance Peace, Ray

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Roger Cornish 19 February 2008

Oh Laura.... We did all those things! Your anger is that of an honest soul.... Keep writing from the Heart! Rogerx

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Laura Kiernan

Laura Kiernan

Seattle, WA
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