Unbearable Poem by Badria Alameeri

How come I have shifted to this?
Is it real?
Or another reflection of my sorrows
Need to breathe
Need a life
Need love
Need "me"

Smiling yet..
Tears trying to break free
Can't recognize myself no more
Feeling lost
Feeling alone
Feeling vulnerable

Somehow
For some reason
I feel upset
Wondering..
How people think of me
The questions that cross their minds
And how they answer without asking
Funny isn't it?
But not any more

It has hit me
It broke me
It made me shade rivers
It is unbearable

I keep lying to myself
Looking in the mirror
With all meanings of joy
Rising to my face..
Repeating constantly:
I am ok
I am ok
Or am I?

I am lost between
My most precious human being
And my short last mistake
Needing both yet unreachable
I am incomplete
I feel my body cant no longer
Contain neither my heart nor me

My mistake..
Used to be everything to me
A life, friend, love
But those are words
Which are not nearly true
Without meaning or any purpose
I were betrayed by it

It is hard
It is rough
It is harsh
It is loud
It is unbearable