Owain Glyn


Vegetable Abuse


I knew a man who merrily
Took whisky with his celery
He thought it an efficient way
To help toward his five a day.

And, of course, he'd get a drink
A pleasant two-in-one you'd think
But things did not work well, you see
The celery just made him pee.

Then his nose and ears turned green
Closely followed by his spleen
These were not his only troubles
His pee came out in small green bubbles.

He asked his doctor to decide
If this was caused by pesticide
His doctor very soon agreed
A remedy was clear, indeed.

Keep up the whisky, merrily
But cut down on the celery
The root cause of this foul affliction
Was down to celery addiction!

Please consume celery responsibly.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Submitted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, January 16, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Sometimes even the healthiest of foods can be bad for you.

Comments about this poem (Vegetable Abuse by Owain Glyn )

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  • Rookie - 182 Points Karen Sinclair (3/10/2013 6:09:00 AM)

    Oh my giddy aunt! Lol who'd a thought aye! Bubbles in his pee desiccated by celery. I love the irony in this piece where the health conclusions are twisted on a thought. Whisks good for me aye. I'm off for a sip lol No seriously I really appreciated this due to my version of events being a veggie and not eating to healthy mainly mushrooms veg cous cous and cheese I know my body is indeed suffering. Mind you I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago and ate steak as the only veg option was mushroom risotto wet rice urrrr I just couldn't so once in three years I ate one glorious piece of rare steak. Was glorious. Ty m karen (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,772 Points Valerie Dohren (1/16/2013 1:14:00 PM)

    I'm more inclined to think it was the whisky rather than the celery that caused his problem, but good try LOL! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,772 Points Valerie Dohren (1/16/2013 1:13:00 PM)

    I'm more inclined to think it was the whisky rather than the celery that caused his problem, but good try LOL! ! ! (Report) Reply

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