Where I Belong Poem by Loraine Lotter

Here I am, sitting at the table.
It’s been a year, don’t know how you were able
to keep me missing you all this time.

You walk in, sit down across me.
We small-talk, weather and the family.
So careful not to cross the line.

Because I know you don’t want to remember,
when it’s still so hard to forget.
We cried all night, but I left you in the end.

So hear me out; I’m sorry for saying that I didn’t want you in my life when
I was so wrong.
I regret it–you’re where I belong.
Wanted to break free when actually it was me who couldn’t commit to anything.
I was so wrong,
and I regret it, take my hand and take me home.
I regret it, ‘cause you’re where I belong.

This week I’ve been thinking about a memory,
playing back that one weekend at the rally,
when we stayed in tents and I watched you sleep.

But you’ve been keeping your distance since I said goodbye.
You’re looking very wary and I understand why;
this time the scar’s too deep.

Because last time was enough
for you to swear not to let me in again.
You were devoted, but at the time I didn’t care.

I watch your blue eyes–so guarded, your lips turned so far down.
You clench your hands and scrape your chair against the ground,
standing up to turn around.
Did you take offence to what I said?
I promise you this beating heart isn’t dead.
But then you look at me and I tremble at the sound;

You say you want to love me, but you can’t.
You never meant to hurt me, so you hope I understand.

But hear me out; I’m sorry for saying that I didn’t want you in my life when
I was so wrong.
I regret it–you’re where I belong.
Wanted to break free when actually it was me who couldn’t commit to anything.
I was so wrong,
and I regret it, take my hand and take me home.
I regret it, turn around ‘cause this heart is torn.
I regret it, loving you is where I belong.

In your arms is where I belong.