Her lovely frock and neat ponytails
vibrant flash of her manicured nails
Oohs and ahs of farewell at school
students an aunts smitten by her cool
She stood apart as the winning flower
Brightest heartthrob and slickest star
Didn’t notice the parade of vying beaus
Didn’t know the looks and flying cues
Just the priceless charming smile,
that won her place as decisive style
(Islamabad)
(April 08,2009)
There were a couple of the rhymes that didn't work and that really affected the poem a lot, but for the most part this was a fine rhythm and rhyme style of poem. As I said, correct those two rhymes and you really have something nice. GW62
how a poet's eye sees more than what an ordinary eye sees!
The charms of a jaunty teen written in perky, brisk lines, with blended wit thoroughly enjoyable. I can see her smashing the hearts of 'vying beaus', :))
Amazing Smiling poetry…like ‘Smile Millionaire’…face value is augmented by a charming smile …and your poetry is smiling thro’ the teen…. thanks sharing… Ms. Nivedita UK 10/10
Been there, done that. This winning beauty shall win the world for herself. Hats off to her.
Hey Sadaat this is great sight for the sore heart indeed.. hey i m used to read your thought provoking ones and commenting on them.... I didn't know you write these sorts of poems... Sadaat I think you are a writer with good heart and this is the out come when you put your heart and soul in to poems.. this is beautiful And the work of a professional poet too, with perfect rhymes and stuff.... great picture you v painted here with lots of love shan
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
and i know this winning smile captured your heart..isn't it? ...i guess, love notes, texts messages too, and a hundred times phone calls followed...what a cute piece, , very beautiful, promise.. naizz