Ted Sheridan Poems

It is now twenty minutes past three in the morning
We just had two inches of rain in the last hour
The ground in front of my house is flooded
My wife is asleep
...

I just went to the grocery for some bell peppers
Gravy mix and water chestnuts sliced thin in a can
Two round steaks and a bottle of soy sauce
Oh yeah, and some rice named 'Success'
...

It has been a dry couple of days
Drinking anything but water or beer
Seems unsatisfying to me
Four days ago I had my last drink of rum
...

He was not spared the hatred they felt
For he looked like all the rest of his kind
They knew him without knowing him
He was judged without trial or jury
...

It is worthless being the smartest person in the world
If nobody understands a word you say.....
And won't pay a dime to see you naked.....
...

There are so many dead birds to be found
On the front lawn...or in the back...
On their backs with legs up...in the garden
Like so many spring onions....
...

I received a brochure the other day
On the front cover it read...in big bold black print
'Death Benefits'
Not in the least curious as to what they were
...

He was a left handed lying liberal
Who wore his watch on his right wrist
Opposite of the norm
He was also an ambidextrous liar
...

She used to make him smile brightly
but now she leaves him bleeding profusely from the pen__
...

I have a cancer growing on my head
I found it there one day
When alerted by a slight but constant itch
I scratched the surface off of it
...