George Hunter

This lady from DePaul
Liked to go to the mall.
....She bought so much glop
....She’d shop til she dropt.
And stack it all up in the hall.

Her husband said, “Honey, please
This mania has got to cease.
....It must be a curse
....‘Cause you’re getting worse.
We’re filled right up to the eaves.”

And then one sunny day
He knew just what to say.
....“You’d better start quaking
....Because I am taking
Your credit cards away.”

First she didn’t know what to say.
It was such a sorrowful day.
....She said, “This will be fun
....You old son of a gun
‘Cause I’m taking your nookie away.”

So he thought it wise
To compromise.
....So for every day
....That you buy what you may
I get my roll in the hay.

So now he has to pay
To get his daily lay,
....She didn’t know that before
....She was his to adore.
He paid for it anyway.

So no matter what you do
If you’re married to a shrew
....It costs you a bundle
....If you want to trundle
If you’re married or nay
You still have to pay
So what’s a poor bloke to do?