Treasure Island

Paul Hansford


A few Limericks (serious/satirical)


They were going to start a new life;
childhood sweethearts become man and wife.
But a drunken stag-night
ended up in a fight,
and someone had taken a knife.

[This is the only serious one so far]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A tiny space traveller one day
flew to Earth from a world far away.
His superior intelligence,
however, was no defence
when they zapped him with a can of fly spray.

[This is only serious if you're the alien]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The people who run Camelot
added up all the money they’d got.
They very soon found
a small part of each pound
amounts to a heck of a lot.

[Camelot is the company that runs the National Lottery, at no risk to the shareholders/directors, and takes a good profit for doing it.]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
An MP who flew to Hong Kong
for a week of wine, women and song
charged it up to expenses.
Is he out of his senses?
He still says he did nothing wrong!

[This is an imaginary example, but it could just as well be true]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

An MP thought he was in luck
when he charged for a house for his duck.
He thought it was OK
for the voters to pay,
but did we agree? Did we... blazes!

[last line approved by the PH censor]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Another MP rocked the boat
when he charged us for cleaning his moat.
When they forced him to tell us,
he said we were just jealous!
Now we’d all like to set him afloat.

Submitted: Saturday, July 25, 2009
Edited: Saturday, August 29, 2009

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Comments about this poem (A few Limericks (serious/satirical) by Paul Hansford )

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  • Lillian Thomas (7/31/2009 2:42:00 PM)

    Nicely done, but none would I truly call serious, but yes satirical. The form seems to add a wry wink or lampoonish smirk to the text. All good comment. Not purely funny, but as the editorial cartoon is to cartoon, so your 'Few Limericks' are to the run-of-the-mill sorts of limericks.
    As usual you do the form a compliment. Your handling of each is deft, though I would quibble with you on this line:
    'but did we agree? Did we blazes! '
    when the previous line-ending rhyme words were luck, duck, OK and pay...... hmmm Blazes? ! (Report) Reply

  • Paul Hansford (7/30/2009 10:45:00 AM)

    Anyone who is interested in the potentialities of the limerick would do well to visit Susan Jarvis's pages and look at Bardolatry and Brave Soldiers. (Report) Reply

  • Karin Anderson (sorry can't vote or comment) . (7/29/2009 7:59:00 AM)

    Great work Paul. I would like to see the limerick become more popular as it is the irony I love and what you displayed so well. I have a book called The Lure of the Limerick and its a favorite of mine.
    Getting stuck into the 'Pollies' is so needed so good on you! Top marks! Karin Anderson (Report) Reply

  • Susan Jarvis (7/25/2009 5:39:00 PM)

    I have recently become a fan of this wonderful form, and this 'serious/satirical' collection are thoroughly entertaining. I think the form suits the serious in that the pivotal words are emphasised, as in the first limerick's final word 'knife'. As for the subject of MPs in the satirical few - hilarious; especially the 'house for his duck' - a blazing good effort! S ;) (Report) Reply

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