A Heart In Denial Poem by Shadowed Past

Searching but not looking
Looking but knot wanting
Wanting but not knowing
A heart in denial

You know everything about him
He’s your closest friend
He’s your distant twin
He’s your life

And to think it all started
Because of hot glue,
A school project,
And a card trick

But he can’t have you
And you can’t have him
Your luck;
You’re both taken

You find a way
To sneak off
But just to talk
Honestly

You’re caught
You lie
He’s just a friend
It was nothing

Say it enough
You might start
Believing it yourself
The start of denial

He walks by, you smile
He smiles, you hug him
He hugs you, your heart jumps
But he only walked by

You stop to think
… Maybe …
You shake your head
Nah…couldn’t be
Or could it…?

He holds your darkest secret
Only he knows
What you do
That you regret

A day comes
Between she and him
It doesn’t look good

Do you risk it?
Do you tell her
Your darkest secret
To spare him the trouble?

It’s what he wants
Isn’t it?
She’s who he wants
Isn’t she?

Nope, wrong again
He stops you
It’s not worth it
It’s your secret

You wonder
Why he stopped you
Why he cares
Why you care

That’s a good question
Why do you care?
You’re just friends
Right?

Maybe…
Nah, couldn’t be
It doesn’t make sense
It doesn’t add up

But it doesn’t have to
He is your closest friend
He is your distant twin
He is your life

Don’t you see?
He is everything
He is amazing
He is perfect
Perfect for you

Half an hour from each other
You’re on the bus
It gets to you
You have to do it

You close your eyes
And hit “send”
He doesn’t respond for a while
Oh no

Does he think it’s a joke?
Does he care?
Does he get it?
Does he feel the same?

You’re second guessing everything
*buzz….*
*flip*
*wide eyed*
“I love you too”