Treasure Island

Asif Baloch

(06-06-1978 / karachi)

A Silent Tear (Sample)


There are humans but no humanity left inside
They hurt their loved one’s with the dagger of lies
A silent tear dropped inside

An old man sitting by the road side
Dry tears of sadness in his lonely eyes
Left by his children to beg and die
A silent tear dropped inside

They tolerate loneliness with a smile
Caged like animals and no one hear there cries
Worn out cloths and tears of innocence in there eyes
Hurt by there love one’s and kept away in disguise
A silent tear dropped inside

They search for heaven in mosque, temple or in the skies
They forgot that they were in the belly of heaven for nine lives
They were loved, cherished and taught how to fly in the skies
Just for there self pleasure and happiness they put there
heaven to weep and cry
A silent tear dropped inside

There’s so much pain in the world outside
I want to help them but my hands are tied
As I watch them through my painful eyes
A silent tear dropped inside

-
This poem is dedicated to those womens who are in the prisons for life without even proven guilty...and those parents who are forgotten and forbidden by there children....even though I think this poem is incomplete

Submitted: Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Edited: Monday, May 03, 2010

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  • Sarah Abdullah (10/6/2008 11:42:00 AM)

    There are humans but no humanity left inside
    They hurt their loved one’s with the dagger of lies
    A silent tear dropped inside

    wow
    Sooooooooooooooo True Sooooooooo True
    I got no other words
    Great Write sooo expressing
    simply Great (Report) Reply

  • Kesav Easwaran (10/6/2008 6:52:00 AM)

    we can not help each and every one who suffers in life...but dropping a tear or two in compassion is worthy of mind...good content 10 (Report) Reply

  • Seema Aarella (9/25/2008 1:25:00 AM)

    A tear dropped inside.....ur heart is crying...its wet...compassionate and sympathizing...but ur hands are tied.It shows ur helplessness...as u become a mute spectator....u are struggling within to bring the change...as a first step towards a revolution....
    a tear has broken its bonds...
    soon ur voice will soar,
    soon ur soul will awake....
    soon the change will come,
    when a tear in every eye does break.
    This is ur best Aijaz....A heartening topic rendered effectively....10 for ur heart. (Report) Reply

  • Greenwolfe 1962 (9/24/2008 11:51:00 AM)

    I liked your comment at the end, that you thought it was incomplete.
    You are correct, it is. But it is also quite long as well for the message
    you are trying to send.
    Your basic problem is that you say in four lines what you could say in one.
    You write far too much on each point. You waste too many words. Focus
    on a single phrase to convey a complete thought. Even one word may do so.
    If you work on this, you will also more clearly see what you think which is not there. No poem of that length on that subject should be so long.
    I cannot recommend it.

    GW62 (Report) Reply

  • Ashraful Musaddeq (9/24/2008 5:47:00 AM)

    We can't stop 'A silent tear dropped inside'! Emotion bleeds, this is universal. But we feel mourning. This is a nice piece of emotion.

    10 for this brilliant composition. (Report) Reply

Read all 10 comments »

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