Jesse Ellsbury (March 23,1982 / Washington D.C.)
Amethyst Stalactites (How to Fail Like A Pro)
Vacant eyes, naked skies, where did I go wrong?
I bled for no reason at all.
All the times I stumbled, bumbled, never learned to try.
I learned how to fail like a pro,
How to be strong in the cold,
All the while I shivered inside but never learned how to die.
The sun melts in shadows, the clouds seep their rain,
I’m lost inside myself,
I’ve shed a trail of self-confidence
That stains my conscious conscience red.
Every atom of me has been used,
Half of them are broken gears.
My machinery is functional but the foreman disappeared.
Teeth like stalactites, amethyst tongues,
I live in a fortress of books.
I grit my stalactites ‘til they crack as snowflakes on my gums
And smile jagged at the world,
And grin with hunger at my love
And grimace, broken, turned away,
Too scared to even run.
I am one with my colleagues but not one with myself,
I can only see eye-to-eye when on a pedestal,
But am I looking down or up?
I’ve learned to be careful when I pray for luck,
No one ever tells me if will be good or bad.
I am no one to my colleagues, a stain on their sight
(at least I would be if they saw me) .
But they are me and I am they,
I wish I could be proud to say, but the truth is: I’m ashamed.
Naked eyes, vacant skies, the circle now shuts tight.
Nothing has changed, I am the same,
But many people have cried (and more than that became alive) ,
swallowed by the earth as it yawned.
The body of death will now tend the farm.
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