Jesse Ellsbury (March 23,1982 / Washington D.C.)
Apology for Something I Haven't Done Yet
When I punish myself to get back at others,
sometimes the logic in this gets muddled.
Who am I kidding? It’s pathos, it’s somber,
I’m an emotional suicide bomber.
I don’t think so much as act
to free the pain within my veins
because it can flow while being trapped –
I wish I could be like that.
But when I see the fences
I know that it is senseless
to compete in a game that’s fixed:
death is as certain as life is.
Should its impending arrival
lead me to grab a Bible
and spend my future singing hymns?
I don’t have a solution;
logic is my constitution
but my emotions wage a revolution
that makes me say what I shouldn’t.
And that’s why I told your mother she couldn’t
help out in the kitchen.
When she didn’t stop, I accused her of bitching.
I was going to bake
an apology cake,
but then I ended up writing.
This poem’s not sweet,
it’s not something you should eat,
but hey, at least it’s biting.
Poet's Notes about The Poem
Comments about this poem (Apology for Something I Haven't Done Yet by Jesse Ellsbury )
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