Margaret Kollmer (South Africa)

A Saucy Nando's Poem - Poetry Competition

Now lissen, Vrou, said my Ou, the day that we was wed
Don’t gimme no, none ‘arf-baked food,
Or stay out from my bed.
A toikey pale and pimply
Does nuffing good for me
Don’t gimme no, none pimply birds
Jong! Wotta sight to see!

Ook se Vrou, said my Ou, the day that we was wed
Don’t you be snoep with Nando’s sauce
That’s what Ouma said.
Lekka Lemon on my prawns and also on my crabs
And sometimes Peri Peri Hot
Now this one really grabs.

A duck! Nou daar’s a storie
A newly pluckered duck
Ag, I dirrent mention pheasant man
You like a record stuck.
Another thing, my skatterbol, eye have Chinese genes
Which makes me so inscrotable
And you know what that means.

Now lissen Vrou, said my Ou, nou ons is lang getroud
You dirrent gimme toikey bald
You dressed him in a coat
A coat of many flavours Herby Lemon, Peri Red
And the toikey’s name was Joseph
Leastways that’s what Ouma said.