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John Kipling Lewis

Rookie (3/12/1968 / Manhattan, KS)

assiduous empathy

my assiduous empathy
is a cartographer of quintessence

recording, in turn,
everyone of luminescence

the freaks, the geeks and
the passionate creators

the flawed, from abroad and
the erstwhile dictators

their idiolect captured
in meticulous detail

every particular nuance
logged without fail

i converse, it's a curse,
through a mental portal

unsurpassed in contrast
to the actual mortal

Submitted: Friday, February 24, 2006

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  • Rookie Kath Moore (11/5/2007 1:16:00 PM)

    6. Works better than some of the others. It just needs more concrete imagery to balance out the wordplay elements (which are fine, just not enough on their own.)

    By now you should be noticing a pattern in my comments. Poems convey experience. Imagery is how experience is conveyed - specifically, concrete, striking, and original details. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Brian Beek (11/5/2007 12:27:00 PM)

    I like the rhythm of it, especially after the first time I read it it seemed to really move well. (Report) Reply

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