Consent At 10,000 Feet Poem by Irene Hooks

You ever have sex in a haunted house? Like you know you sneak in together and you're both laughing and you got it all worked out because you both worked there last year and know the layout of the building. And then a werewolf jumps out at you and its like AH! But then you that one spare room and its like ah. Yeah. You know. Its different, its outside the box, but there's nothing wrong with it. You ever go to your roommates Fringe Festival show and end up hooking up with one of the supporting cast members but they're like a method actor in a series of performances so they never break character and its cool but the character is like this alternate universe punk Mercutio and their blunderbuss keeps getting in the way and you both laugh about it and yea its memorable and its beyond the norm but there's nothing wrong with it. You ever have sex inside and enormous bowl of fettuccini alfredo that is suspended in chains between two sequoia trees because youre dating this super avant-garde performance artist who wants to draw attention who wanted to draw attention to their new vanity publishing press but only got like 100 twitter followers. Yea its squishy and definitely an experience not easily replicated but there's nothing wrong with it. Theres nothing wrong with any of these scenarios because in all of them both partners are 100% flamboyantly beyond any shadow of a doubt down with what is happening and the communication of that verbal and non verbal is clear and constant. This is consent, and wrong would be the absence of that in any context for any reason. It would be silence. It would be I don't know if this is what I want right now. Because maybe that's not a no but it is definitely not a yes. It would be just about everyone agreeing that rape is bad but only when its called rape. How the amounts of men who will admit to getting someone drunk, or otherwise manipulating, coercing, or forcing them into a sexual act is so much larger than the amount of men who will admit to raping someone. How wrong is it to continue to talk about sexual assault like its always that stranger lurking in the bushes or always that cartoon character of a predatory frat boy. And never the boyfriend, or the girlfriend, or the best friend of the ally, or that really sweet guy from class. This is for that really sweet boy from class. Who might be asking, you know what about the gray areas? What if were just both really drunk, what if she sends mixed messages what if I'm trying to do the right thing but I read those signals wrong? Have you ever had sex while skydiving, like where you talk about consent the same way you talk about wearing a parachute? Like I'm pretty sure Im wearing aa parachute. No questions like I asked her to check my parachute and she didn't say anything but it was ok last time so I'm pretty sure it was ok this time too. Have you ever had sex in a burning building when smoke and cinder wrapped itself around your neck but coming was more important to you than going. Have you ever had sex on a life raft in the middle of the ocean. Im not saying that the water cant be cloudy but we are under no obligation to swim through it. Have you not had sex. Just watched a movie. Maybe made-out. Or maybe made plans to get up again later and then maybe days or weeks later when you're both ready and smiling and both completely alive in your own bodies and both listening to each other fully. And maybe its not love, maybe its just sex and that's perfectly ok but love is so much bigger than let's spend our lives together. It is also lets spend this moment together. When two or morepeople, present, electric, the opposite of grey, te embodiment of human, hands, eyes, lips, everything.