A final
Embrace
At the intersect
Awaiting
This release
From your lips
And for that
Unspoken
Goodbye
You turn with a
You will be ok?
I affirm
At the intersect
Singularly statuesque
Smiling bravely
note: revised, special thank you to Paul Butters and Edward Wright Haile for the corrections.
On the outside of course fine.... the hidden... never will be Home hitter.... all have experienced. Well done
i like the simplicity of your poems and this comment holds true for most of your writes.. but this one leaves me with a smile. a braveheart in misery. well done
I'd like to think they were more 'suggestion' than 'correction'. Am honoured to be included in your notes. Thanks. Paul.
Me again - Getting back to Edward below - You could of course use Both 'wordless' and 'unspoken' on separate occasions. However, to me 'unspoken' implies something unsaid - maybe some deep thought or feeling. On the other hand 'wordless' might (or might not!) be, just, well wordless. Just a thought. Keep typing. Paul.
You seem to 'smile bravely' quite often - little option I guess. Like the poem. Paul.
I think line one shd be 'wordless' instd of 'unspoken' If she turns 'once more' when did she turn the first time? Sorry to be so critical, but it is a very tender lyric. Sounds like a soldier's goodbye.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
its a good poem, sad but very poetic