Despite All The Evidence/Against Poem by Shalom Freedman

Despite all the evidence
Against a personal God
I live and pray
As if I not only need a personal God
But as if I believe in and fear a personal God completely
And I sense I will live troubled with this contradiction
To the end of my life
Consistency I long for
And coherence also
But divided within myself
I will apparently also be
Until the end of my days
Believing only God
Can save us all
And doubting it
Despite my not wanting to.