Hemorrhoid Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

In Minnesota, town of Boyd
the Devil made the hemorrhoid.
You see he didn't like the way
that God rewarded those who pray.
One night when everyone was sleeping
the angels saw the Devil, creeping
up to the bed of Fearless Floyd
he was the cowboy, here in Boyd.
And had been recently employed
where Jesus Christ had left a void.
Well, devils are, by Nature, crass
and this one soon crawled to the ass
of Floyd to plant a little bubble
which was designed to cause much trouble.
The bubble grew into a pile,
although this took a little while,
and rested there where it had started
moving aside if someone farted.
The logic of the Devil's plan
was to replace himself the man
and thus become the righteous hand
in Heaven, ruling every land.
So, sure enough young Floyd from Boyd
became increasingly annoyed
with what those itchy bits created
and when the time came he debated
with God that he was not content
with his employment, and he meant
to look around for greener grass
and as he left he scratched his ass.

So, now you know, the town of Boyd
is birthplace of the hemorrhoid.
And if you can, please do avoid
the genes that come from Fearless Floyd.