here at the bar
with my wine
with myself
the rain is not a baptism
it never touches my head
the rain dampens my pants,
my shoes, i'm a drunk
who can't control
his urination
here at the bar i am safe
and the mirror holds my smile
5. It's a good start. There are some details. Just work on making them stronger and more striking.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Simple, yet to the point. I like it but I just couldn't call it a 10 and I am not sure why.