He was with his friends, eating with stones
Making fun as it feels
They recede as I came by crying
Moving forth back of my heart
Felt broken that world might fell at my feet
Its such a different between them
That he could take away nuisance by himself
Just my heart struck with hatred.
Hi Jamie, I read your poems here. Do not worry with mistakes. We are making mistakes, what is important is that we are willing to admit it. But the question is where's the mistakes lie? Making fun as it feels. Since you mentioned of friends, therefore you have to use they instead of it, then feel instead of feels. Its such a different between them. It is instead of Its
Yes, Ma'am. I was so tired in that time, I didn't check my wordings and etc. But as I know that I've got those mistakes, I will take it. SaLAMAT maam.
You did better than I could in a second language but there is still a way to go to get it down, Keep learning and keep writing
Thank you Sir! Yes, actually I did not expect anything about this. I too myself feel that I've got mistakes and excuses on writing poem. I will keep your advice sir! Thank you! Merry Christmas!
This being your initial attempt, a few mistakes can be excused! However your emotion of love shines bright in this poem! Shall I call it 'calf love' or are you really serious! Keep writing Jamie! Merry Christmas!
Oh thank you so much! I will enhance and clear my mistakes about writing poems. Thank you so much! Merry Christmas.
Thank you so much sir Dutendra! I am totally touched with the word Beautiful. God bless you sir! Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
This type of poem is about the nuisance and hatred of one's love where people might think of someone that they could've reached. This poem brings tough emotions and life challenges making a way to be closer with your love ones. I wrote this poem for my crush, hoping that he will realize what I feel if he will not notice me and feel the same feeling that I do. I also dedicate this poem for my Mom. Mom, we always doubt on something because some things are complicated enough. Nuisance and hatreds of someone can't make us huge enough to win, but it helps us motivate ourselves to move on for someone we love. We should remember that the world continues to motivate us for a greater change. God bless and I hope you will get the thoughts and meanings of this very new poem of mine. - Maam Aparejo here it is.