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Patti Masterman


I fornicate, therefore I am


These poems have been fornicating again-
Who wrote all these?
They're multiplying faster than
A pile of pink rejection slips.
Someone drunk on life, brazen with words;
A walking miscarriage of language,
Must’ve went crazy with the typewriter.

You've been warned about writing too much before;
You'll wake up some day and see
There’s ten thousand critters, beside your name-
That you can scarcely remember at all,
And everyone will be laughing- even more
You've been warned about this before.

Who do you think you are,
Prostituting all those sentences,
Blatant overuse of colons and semi-colons;
They ought to come out and arrest you right now,
For disturbing of the culture,
Resisting status quo,
And conspiracy to waste trees and bandwidth.

I hear the FCC has a huge file on you by now.

Maybe they're just giving you enough rope.

Submitted: Monday, August 29, 2011
Edited: Monday, August 29, 2011

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  • Rookie - 4 Points Martin O'Neill (2/17/2012 2:07:00 PM)

    In the days before the internet I got really tired fingers editing a magazine for the guys whilst serving in the Falklands. I threatened to give the old Olivetti a colonoscopy. Only the Squadron Chief Clerk understood.: -) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Eric Cockrell (8/30/2011 9:35:00 AM)

    absolutely love this one! after a couple of days o9f rest, am considering a little typewriter foreplay myself! (Report) Reply

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