I Hate Love Poem by Lauren SCH

Really it’s not your fault,
Its me I hate not you
So right now ill end it
Oh, by the way if you haven’t guessed by now, were through

I hate how u made me feel
So warm and snug for a while
But then my façade ended
And now it’s impossible for me to smile

I hated how you treated me
So nice and kind and true
No you don’t understand how I despise it
Coz its not what im used to

I thought that I couldn’t trust you
But you made that hard for me to do
You were my safe house
The one I always came to
You were my home away from hell
And I liked that feeling
More than your sanity can tell

You will never know how much you mean, meant to me
It was something fun and new and different
But in the end it’s not how things are supposed to be

And later I will punish myself
For feeling the way I do
I was taught to obey,
And ignore the feelings now
Which tell me I love you,

I can’t tell the difference from love or hate now
They’re all the same thing
But ours must have been love
Coz it was engraved in that ring
It’s locked in my hands grasp now,
And please forever can it stay
Hidden in your closet, or locked somewhere far away

And this is why, eventually I must say
That I did love you, but was told to stay away
To stay away from the emotions,
I’ve never felt before
To keep clear of the feelings
I was told to ignore

I cannot go on like this
Having you around but not keeping you as well
No, nothing is worse than that
Not even hell

So this is where you’ll find me
In the middle of my fate,
In your bathroom, no don’t think you were too late
It was always too late for me,
Way since before I met you
I was already a lost cause,
and that my sweet dear friend is true

I’ll have this ring on the trigger
But my heart in the gun

I give it all to you
Coz no longer can I run
Run away from my experience and memories
That hurt you too

I cannot write more, simply because my fingers are shaking
Not only scared of my fate, but welcoming too
I hope you have a long and wholesome life
One that I could, would never give you
And that you never think of me again,
When you are kissing your future wife

I’m about to pull the trigger
Remembering all the things we could have seen
And of course the things we could have been
If I had a ready heart it’s you it would have been given,
But I don’t, and it’s too late
I might see you in -