hasmukh amathalal

Gold Star - 39,360 Points (17/05/1947 / Vadali, Dist: - sabarkantha, Gujarat, India)

I Wish It - Poem by hasmukh amathalal

Call me from far
I shall emerge as star
To guide and act
And remain yours in fact

Why do I think?
Often about you and sink
I have no answer
But make sincere offer

You were first to enter
This desolate center
The garden was flowered
And the scene was altered

I wish it to remain
And be maintained
You come with fragrance
I shall regret not even at once

Yet fortunately we met
Defeated the fate
This was our destiny
As destined by the almighty


Comments about I Wish It by hasmukh amathalal

  • Gold Star - 39,360 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (8/16/2014 2:28:00 AM)

    Intriguing and thought provoking. I like it.

    stan brierly58 minutes ago
    Keep writing and sharing. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Gold Star - 39,360 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (8/16/2014 2:28:00 AM)

    Comprehensive


    SarahKnova Woods53 minutes ago
    I really like the first stanza even though it has a rhyme. I am not the biggest fan of rhyming; but you made it work in this first stanza :) Maybe in second one put make (a) sincere offer?

    The entire piece reminds me of being in love and knowing YOU will always be there for that person but they are in this case just not able to share that level of love you have for them.

    Reminds me of the first time I fell in love and life slowly putting me through many painful years and tears; nights up drinking far too much and writing about the pain of why would this person not see how deeply I cared for them.

    Thank you for sharing :)
    Comment +1 (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 39,360 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (8/16/2014 2:27:00 AM)

    Aw! Destined to be!

    Abigail Foster57 minutes ago
    Very nice, I like the message. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 39,360 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (8/15/2014 11:58:00 PM)

    Call me from far
    I shall emerge as star (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Friday, August 15, 2014



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