La Belle Dame Sans Merci 21st Century - Parody John Keats And Other Parodies Poem by Jonathan ROBIN

La Belle Dame Sans Merci 20th. Century


“O, what can ail thee, stay-at-home,
O nappy-changer muscle bound,
with withered wedge beard, lips a-foam,
frustration crowned.

O, what can ail thee, stay-at-home,
so haggard and so woe-begone?
time, squirrel, drives nuts to the full,
no work – no fun?

I see a lily on thy brow,
with anguish moist and hands a-wring,
at whom no mistress fair winks now,
no birds now sing.”

“I met a lady dressed in tweeds
full beautiful - a faery's child;
with fair hair long, with will that leads,
and her eyes were wild.

I offered garlands for her head,
and bracelets which rich ruby kissed;
she looked at me, took me to bed,
and nothing missed.

She set me pacing to her need,
we nothing else saw all day long;
front, sideways, up and down my seed
could do no wrong.

She found my root of relish sweet,
and honey wild, and manna dew;
in language strange she’d then repeat,
'I love thee true.'

I offered her forget-me-not,
whereon she wept and sighed full sore,
within a month we’d tied the knot -
need I say more?

My guard was down, or lulled asleep,
but soon I found - ah! woe betide! –
sextuplets from her womb did peep,
sprung from first ride.

Upon her altar my career
was sacrificed – no time at all
it took for her and Germaine Greer,
my dice to call.

I tend twelve starved lips in the gloam,
at dawn, at midnight mouths gape wide,
I change the nappies, clean and comb,
at home abide.

Confined to barracks like Obam,
I toil, stem turmoil left and right,
with ever-ready 'Thank you, ma'am! '
brood bed tucked tight.

What's more, with Dow below eight thou,
abode foreclosed, insurance lost,
Obama's flag to which all bow
can't count my cost!

'La Belle Dame sans Merci hath me in thrall! '
and this is why I sojourn here,
from nine to five, from five to nine on call,
workhouse condemned for many a year,
and no birds sing!


21 May 2007 2 penultimate verses added 2 March 2009
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci


_____________________

La Belle Dame Sans Merci



O, what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge is wither'd from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O, what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel's granary is full,
And the harvest's done.

I see a lily on thy brow,
With anguish moist and fever dew;
And on thy cheek a fading rose
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads
Full beautiful - a faery's child;
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She look'd at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan.

I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long;
For sideways would she lean, and sing
A faery's song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna dew;
And sure in language strange she said,
'I love thee true.'

She took me to her elfin grot,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild sad eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lulled me asleep,
And there I dream'd - ah! woe betide! –
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale kings, and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried -
'La Belle Dame sans Merci Hath thee in thrall! '

I saw their starved lips in the gloam
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke, and found me here
On the cold hill side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering;
Though the sedge is wither'd from the lake,
And no birds sing.



John KEATS 1795_1821

___________

I met a lady in the wood


I met a lady in the wood.
No mortal maid, I knew, was she;
She was no thing of flesh and blood,
No child of human ancestry.

Her beauty held my eyes in thrall.
I spoke to her sweet words, soft-toned.
She answered me no word at all,
But only looked at me and moaned.

I spoke to her about Exchange,
Of Sterling and its recent rise.
The subject was beyond her range;
She stared at me with haunting eyes.

I touched upon the price of Rye
And its effect upon the Pound.
She walked beside me silently,
Like one that treads on charmèd ground.

She witched me with her elfin grace.
I spoke of Wages and the Dole
And briefly sketched for her the case
For International Control.

She gazed upon me as I talked;
Some elfin thing she seemed to be.
I knew her, by the way she walked,
A creature of the Faëry.

Through green and leafy glades we went,
Knee-deep among the dewy ferns;
I touched upon the Law of Rent
And of Diminishing Returns.

And, as we wandered through the wood
Mid oaks and elm-tree boles rotund,
Explained to her as best I could
The workings of a Sinking Fund.

I said that Rubber was depressed
By recent rumours from Malay.
She only moaned and beat her breast
And cried aloud, 'Alack-a-day! '

I said my brokers had foreseen
A rise in Oil, and asked her view
As to the trend of Margarine,
She only answered 'Willaloo! '

I took her to a green-lit glade
Where tall trees twined their branches high
And a moss-muted streamlet made
Unmeditating melody;

And there I paused awhile; and there
I offered her my heart and hand,
And bade her take me in her care
To dwell with her in Fairyland.

I said I was a Whale-oil King,
With gold and goods and gear in plenty.
She said she was a Mrs. Byng
And had a family of twenty.

She turned and left me where I stood.
While round her elfin pipes were fluting
She walked away into the wood,
And I walked home to Lower Tooting.





Patrick BARRINGTON 1908_1990
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci
___________

La Belle Dame Sans Argent

'O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!
So haggard, and so woe begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.’

‘I’m glad you brought the squirrel up,
He’s laughing, now his nuts have come;
Nice hole, warm leaves, security –
All right for some!

“I met a lady at the meads,
Full beautiful – a faery’s child,
I thought ‘If only she were rich! ”
And then she smiled.

“Her teeth were 18-carat gold”,
And there were emeralds in her hair!
And on her elfin finger shone
A solitaire! ”


Parody Author Unknown 0109
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci

_____________

Answer to a Kind Enquiry

“O what can ail thee, knight at arms,
Alone and palely loitering? ” –
“I suffer intestinal qualms
And heartburn’s sting.

These haggard cheeks, this fevered brow,
My inner turbulence proclaim,
And antiperistalsis now
‘s my only aim.

Last night my military mates
And I made merry in the Mess;
Ah, he who so participates
Should shun excess!

The blushful Hippocrene flowed free,
I hit the deck a shade too quick,
You now know why I seem to be
A trifle sick.

Mary HOLTBY
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci
(Last verse JR c.1990)


_____


La Belle Dame Sans Merci

“O, what can be the matter with thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone, loitering and with a very pale face,
The sedge has withered as it will do in winter,
And no birds at all sing about the place.

O, perhaps you have a chill, Knight-at-arms,
Your eyes are red and your nostrils dripping?
The squirrel’s filled his little tree larder
And you look as if into a depression you are slipping.

Your brow is as white as a lily,
Sprouting with sweat drops like dew;
And your cheeks which were as ruddy as a pillar box
Are becoming as white as a lily too.”

“I met a lady in the meadow behind the allotments,
as pretty as any actress on the stage;
and that is why I stand about here with my nostrils streaming,
looking twice my age.”


T. GRIFFITHS
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci


___


La Belle Dame Sans Merci A.D.1875


“O, what can ail thee, seedy swell,
Alone, and idly loitering?
The season’s o’er – at operas
No ‘stars’ now sing.

Oh, what can ail thee, seedy swell,
So moody! In the dumps so down?
Why linger here when all the world
Is “out of town? ”

I see black careupon thy brow,
Tell me, are I.O.U.’s now due?
And in thy pouch, I fear thy purse
Is empty too.”

“I met a lady at a ball,
Full beautiful – a fairy bright;
Her hair was golden (dyed, I find!)
Struck by the sight –

I gazed, and long’d to know her then:
So I entreated the M.C.
To introduce me – and he did!
Sad hour for me.

We paced the mazy dance, and too,
We talked thro’ that sweet evening long,
And to her – it came to pass,
I breathed Love’s song.

She promised me her lily hand,
She seemed particularly cool:
No warning voice then whispered low,
‘Thou art a fool! ’

Next day I found I lov’d her not,
And then she wept and sigh’d full sore,
Went to her lawyer, on the spot,
And talked it o’er.

She brought an action, too, for breach
Of promise – ‘tis the fashion, zounds!
The jury brought in damages,
Five thousand pounds

And this is why I sojourn here
Alone, and idly loitering,
Tho’ all the season’s through and tho’
No ‘stars’ now sing! ”

Author Unknown – The Figaro 15 September 1875
Parody John KEATS 1795_1821- La Belle Dame Sans Merci