Let's Get Physical Poem by Roy Edwards

Let's Get Physical.
I never did Solve Fermat's final theorem,
As for constants, I'm as thick as two Max Plancks.
Words praising my mathematics, you won't hear 'em,
I'm below the cook's assistant's dog in scientific ranks. 
A theory of everything eludes me,
And quantum strings, quite frankly, drive me bats,
An exhaustive list of nutters, though, includes me,
Like Schroedinger, I've boxes full of cats.
My Hadron Colider's just a wee one,
My space telescope ain't Hubble's, that's for sure,
I look out for big black holes but never see one,
As my expertise and eyesight are both poor.
No apple ever fell upon my napper,
I find calculus to be beyond my reach.
For the Nobel prize award gigs I look dapper,
But I've never had to make a thank you speech.