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Bri Edwards


(Money) Laundering...... [White collar? crime; Inept 'criminal']


The illicit drug dealer had just made a big cash sale score,
but his usual messenger had quit and walked out the door.
So the dealer turned to his cousin who was trustworthy but not smart.....,
saying "Ned, take this bag of money to 10 Front St. Ask for Mark."

So off went Ned with the cash. (Besides being not too smart, he was half blind.)
On Front St. he walked high numbers to low. Number 16, not 10, he did find.
He asked for Mark and a woman said to him "You mean Clark? "
Ned thought a moment. "If Clark can clean this, I guess I don't mean Mark."
The woman said "Excuse me."

Clark approached Ned, smiled, and said "How may I help you sir? "
Ned explained, and Clark said "We usually just clean fabrics and sometimes fur."
To which Ned said "My cousin is depending on me. You'll be well paid."
Clark said "I'm sure we can handle this. We're very good at our trade."
Ned said "Thanks" and left.

That night the dealer met Ned at a local neighborhood bar.
He said to Ned "I called Mark. Where's the cash? You won't get far."
Ned replied "I took it for cleaning but the guy's name is wrong."
The dealer winced and said to his cousin "Show me where you left it. Come along."
The dealer chain-smoked.

It was evening when Ned pointed at number 16 Front, not 10.
His cousin said "Ned, I shouldn't have trusted you. We could end up in the pen."
It was 8 p.m. and #16, a laundry, was closed, as was #10, a bank.
They returned to the bar and the dealer got at least half "in the tank".
They got to bed late.

The next day Ned and the dealer once again drove his car to Front Street.
Ned entered the laundry. His cousin was in his car nearby, watching out for "the heat".
Clark said to Ned "We kept the dryer heat low to not overly parch , and,
without knowing your wishes, we chose to use very little starch."
Clark charged fifty.

Submitted: Saturday, March 09, 2013


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

i must have read something or seen a movie which mentioned money laundering. my wife and i 'discussed' what the term meant. i did a little on-line research, and the poem and my experience with comedy movies and tv shows during my lifetime did the rest.

Comments about this poem ((Money) Laundering...... [White collar? crime; Inept 'criminal'] by Bri Edwards )

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  • Charles Darnell (7/5/2013 10:26:00 AM)

    Very funny! Love the straight-man, Clark and his matter-of-fact oh, we get this every day attitude. Well done! (Report) Reply

  • Ellias Anderson (3/10/2013 1:39:00 PM)

    Bri! ! ! ! ! I have to add this perfect work to my favorite poems list and it should be at the top of them! man! ! ! you did a great job, the story is being told in a nice and cute way. and the end is just good! WOW! the rhymes....OMG! the rhymes are put in a brilliant way!
    well done pal! (Report) Reply

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