My Head Poem by Ryan Monroe

haunted by the memoirs of the past,
looking down at the scars and scabs,
seeing a future without a cast,
a present that is up for grabs.

faking a smile and telling a lie,
its nothing new and its becoming easy,
loosing sight of who is in the mirror nearby,
last minute improvisions make the story look sleazy.

i know there is something that has left me changed,
why is it that one can never see themselves begin to alter?
it is hard to ignore when what we had is now estranged,
all that i hold dear has begun to falter.

things I've hated are now the things i love,
losing conscious is now embraced,
when the mind is gone there's nothing to think of,
when i wake ill be lying in waste.

refusing to hold onto and drag along the past,
never knowing what to do with the now,
avoiding the future and hoping it doesn't come too fast,
wouldn't have this problem if i just knew how.

if we all knew how then there wouldn't be a problem,
we would all be happy and never know the feeling of sadness,
but happiness cannot be solemn,
they cant exist without each other just like light and darkness.

the things that i now love are hurting you,
hate, malice, and spite now cloud my mind,
im begging you to be my light and lead me through,
dont give up on me, ill leave it all behind.

and in the next thought all that is history,
i dont care what happens its all out of my hands,
ive done all i can yet it still stands a mystery,
i feel like giving up and letting it all fall to the sands.