Obsessed With Beyoncé Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Sanitation Department.
May I help you?

'Yes.
I know this may seem to be,
An unusual request.
But is it possible,
You could send to my address...
One of your trucks,
To pick up what my wife has decided...
She no longer needs.'

Your request would be most unethical, sir.
Since we have strict sanitation pick ups.
And in your neighborhood,
All discarded trash and garbage...
Is picked up on either Tuesdays or Thursdays.

'Well...
My neighbor is complaining.'

Why and about what?

'You see...
My wife had been obsessed with Beyoncé.
And there was this one weave she wore,
That filled 28 garbage bags.
And needless to say,
Those bags cover our driveway.
AND the neighbor's front yard.'

Is this a prank call?

'Please.
Is it possible you could send a truck?
My neighbor has begun to burn the bags.
And the stench of it,
Is spreading all over the neighborhood.
What alternative do I have? '

Either calling 911 or the police, sir.
Whatever you decide to do,
Someone is going to get arrested.
That's entirely too much weave.
Where is your wife?
Sir?
Hello?

'She...
Hasn't come home yet.'

Something tells me...
You don't know women.
And...
I hope this doesn't offend.
But,
Is your wife a woman of color?

'Yes. Yes she is.'

Sir...
Immediately call an ambulance.
What you've done is life threatening.
Better yet,
Call the police then 911 AND an ambulance.
And...
I'll be praying for you.
28 BAGS? is that right?

'Yep.'

Sir...
Pack whatever you can carry.
And leave as fast as you can.
Do you have transportation?

'Yes.'

Forget the packing.
You might not have time.
Leave!
Right now.
Don't leave notes, quotes...
Or anything like that.
Leave.
Stay among the missing.
For at least six months.