Ode To Bouncer (Is This Your Dog Too?) Poem by David Whalen

Ode To Bouncer



Playful and stinky
First come to mind
With faithful and honest
Not too far behind

These things are what make him our dog

large brown eyes
Big Black wet nose
On my pillow he lies
In canine repose


He’s poopy and snoopy
With an aura of funky
Ears sad and droopy
Face like a monkey

These things are what make him our dog

Cat hater, butt sniffer
A foot warmer at night
Crotch prodder, leg lifter
He’s been known to bite

In case of a prowler
No Protector of mine
Cowers in the shower
Growls turn to a whine

These things are what make him our dog

He’s drippy and leaky
And way too trusting
Loves toys that are squeaky
Eats food that’s disgusting

Licks me awake
Eyes happily bugging
His neck I could break
Instead I just hug him

These things are what make him our dog

He falls in the pool
Sleeps upside down
Not looking too cool
With jowls in a frown


An aversion to grooming
Addicted to grime
Sees a bath looming
As a capital crime

These things are what makes him our dog

Gnaws on our shoes
Leaves presents of scat
And then when accused
Blames it all on the cat

With small kids he’s ok
round their food can’t be trusted
Cookie crumbs in his beard
Hangs head low, knows he’s busted

These things are what makes him our dog

Sits up on his heinie
at his supper table station
Looks piteous and tiny
Beggar waiting for donation

Licking his privates, languid and lazy
Out of my chair I must shove him
My family and I all must be crazy
So why in the hell do we love him?

These things are what makes him our dog