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David Whalen

(5/18/38 / Covington Kentucky)

The most boring poem in the world


Do you put your cart before the horse
Do you cast pearls before swine
Do you let things run their course
Are you just in the nick of time

Is it out of the frying pan
Or over the rainbow
Is it water under the dam
Is it what you say or what you know

Are you Under the weather
Or are you up and away
Is it age before beauty
Is it time to make hay

Put your nose to the grindstone
Are your Boots on the ground
If your foots in your mouth
Where’s your tongue to be found

Got your back to the wall
Got your Tit in a wringer
Are you Over the hill
Are you still a humdinger

Is it Much ado about nothing
Are you over the hump
On pins and needles
Or down in the dump

Are you over the moon,
Or Up the creek
Down the tubes
Or clumsy as a geek

Are you down on your luck
Or are you up and away
Are you Through and through
Or king for a day

Out of luck
Are you under the gun
Into the fire
Or are you under the sun

At this point I’ve got to tell you my friend
You really must be dumb as a clam
If you read this to the very end
You’re even more boring than I am

Submitted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Edited: Thursday, July 22, 2010

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