Oh If Only Poem by Brandi Parker

another day in my life passes away from me like a dead skin

i have shed part of my life to my past

another puzzle piece of abstract art added to the confusion that is me

some days it feels as if i am standing, waiting in line

for something to happen to bring me closer to that ever longed for dream

of love and peaceful joy

some days i wake up disappointed yet again, more waiting

hesitation to the unfamiliar does not exist for me

i embrace change as a mother embraces her newborn babe

i crave what i do not have and never truly had

only for it's promise of happiness

but sometimes promises get broken, shattered

still i let myself go when it's visage appears in the form of an angel

who whispers eternity into my heart and soul

oh if only i could believe

hope lingers, shimmering and fading

truly a shell of it's former self

a constant reminder of the aching emptiness left

by it's previous benefactors

like a beautiful home that someone cherished and then suddenly abandoned

with no clear defintion or reason why

the visage of love becomes old and grating to some souls

who are constantly searching for something new and exciting

always replacing one visage with another

growing complacent with what they thought they wanted

until they found something new

like a favorite toy that is hastily abandoned

by a child that grew up too quickly

but here i sit, broken toy in hand

wondering how it got in such a state of disrepair

hoping to find a way to piece it back together

to have it for just one more day

to turn every moment into that promise of eternity

oh if only.