Robert G. Durant Poem by Randy Johnson

I owe money to a man named Robert G. Durant.
I want to pay him the money I owe but I can't.
He cuts off the fingers of people who don't pay him money.
You may find it amusing but I sure as hell don't think it's funny.
He cut off all of my fingers, he didn't even spare one.
I couldn't even pick my nose after he was done.
I want to give Durant the bird but I don't have the finger to do it with.
I'd chop his balls off with a lightsaber if I had fingers and if I was a Sith.
You'd better take my advice because it sure isn't a lie.
Pay Robert Durant or you can kiss your fingers goodbye.