Scoop Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

You have been duped.
Hoodwinked, smokedscreened...
Like a substitute expected for caffeine.
Or a diet that's sugar free!
But your hips are spreading so wide?
And anxiety has you licking the rim of your cup!

It's like believing one week's worth of exercise,
Will make you look either like Will Smith...
Or Brad Pitt.
Maybe Angelina Jolie...
With those fine kissable lips!
Hey...
What about Halle Berry?
Or...
Both!
Or all!
And you run into Janet Jackson,
With Diddy doing backflips!
Here's the scoop...
You have been duped.

Your way of life you are demanding be returned...
'Right this moment, or else! ? '
Has about as much affect,
As my desire to see gorillas doing the hula.
Or someone in Washington, D.C.
Actually representing you and your wellbeing!
Or...mine!

Excuse me...
I'm trying to hold myself!
To keep from shaking.
I don't want you to interpret by hysterical laughter,
As a sign of disrespect!

But I will share this with you!
If you close your eyes...
And click your heels three times,
Not only will you get home...
With one stop made to Kansas,
To say hello to Auntie Em.
You will arrive to find Santa there,
Nestled.
Curled up under your Christmas Tree.
With cookies he baked just for you!

And that is about as close to reality,
As you have been allowed to get...
These past 16 years!
'Kinda' waaaaay out of touch.
And hopefully,
The detoxing that comes this November...
Will not be too traumatic!