Slow Realization Poem by Timothy Long

I couldn't fear, but it is near, the solitude is stifling, much a bore, so many things asked, where are my inquiries? my naïve ignorance blinded me, years wasted, match by how many tears I fasted, my education lied, leaving the brain fried, at least I somewhat tried, what apathetic cry, I look up to others but its leading to failure, the slow realization came to late, I'm afraid, its no good looking back, on the sad past, wishing isn't new, unfortunately it isn't true, I'm socially unaware, blind to my own arrogance to boot, shaky knowledge won't save me how, the look of a cow, the talent of anything isn't there, too many flaws remain, my brain is foggy, unclean, the curiosity has died, they all leave me be, knowing a mistake they see, don't be like me, be free, there's still a chance, to avoid the reapers last dance, your but so old, if given a choice, or power, I'd disappear I fear, what's left? a fat canvas, or sacred meat, freak its twisted if you don't fit, life lets you get bit, frightening is a set free a debt would be left, not to others but to myself, its ok to give up, its ok to say I'm not good enough, many already believe so, a process that's hard to change, why not find others like you? hope is fleeting, acceptance is reeling, time becomes appealing, get rid of those feelings, it never last long, fading in between, a blackest never to keen, debt forgiven, mind finally free.