Jahan zaib

Rookie - 70 Points (February 05,1981 / Malakand Pakistan)

Sonnet 'Memory'


After that day of our departure,
I gave my soul nothing but torture,
Calling you to memory all the time,
Made my moments the most sublime,

You were here with me like the sun of dawn,
Sat I looking you ending in smoke every plan,
How can I stop you, knowing no way no reason,
To have forever in my heart a lily, rose' season,

Is this my fate this my destiny? Looted and in despair,
Or with your hand will my hand be ever in pair?
Will ever my tired head rest on your soft arm,
Will my name be written ever on your white palm?

I have a hope you will be mine and mine you are,
Like the moon accompanied by the brightest star,

Submitted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Edited: Tuesday, October 16, 2012

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Comments about this poem (Sonnet 'Memory' by Jahan zaib )

  • Gold Star - 13,881 Points * Sunprincess * (12/10/2012 10:32:00 PM)

    I feel a deep love in this write..very well expressed..fabulous (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Fatma Ballaswud (10/22/2012 11:26:00 AM)

    I have a hope you will be mine and mine you are,
    Like the moon accompanied by the brightest star..
    Very nice poem. I like it's intensity (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Sanjay Mehta (10/22/2012 3:23:00 AM)

    Step by step the longing for the beloved gathers momentum, the intensity grows and finally the longing ends. Nice flow (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 71 Points Vipins Puthooran (10/19/2012 3:21:00 PM)

    'tis an excellent poem! ! ! ! ! good work! ! !
    Keep on writing! ! ! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,229 Points Thomas A Robinson (10/19/2012 1:46:00 PM)

    I am here on open invitation from Payal Parande.
    Having read your beautiful poem I can see her reasons
    for enthusiastic support of your works. Count me as a new
    devotee of your poems. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shivani Misra (10/18/2012 2:20:00 PM)

    U were here with me like the sun of dawn. Awesome. Loved it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (10/18/2012 10:20:00 AM)

    This is beautifully constructed. The flow is excellent and I especially love the second stanza, I close my eyes and make a wish that this ends happily. x (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Yoonoos Peerbocus (10/18/2012 8:38:00 AM)

    the stanzas plus end rhyme in pairs-all work out the theme sensationally (Report) Reply

  • Rookie A B (10/18/2012 4:57:00 AM)

    g8 poem...how a special person drives away our emotions and makes us crazy...beautifully written..specially the last 2 lines...nice ending (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,898 Points Hazel Durham (10/17/2012 11:42:00 AM)

    Inspired write with great depth of emotions! (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,650 Points Dave Walker (10/17/2012 7:39:00 AM)

    A great poem, like it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Eric Cockrell (10/16/2012 6:18:00 PM)

    when the glass is broken, the wine becomes sweeter! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 103 Points Persian Khushi (10/16/2012 11:45:00 AM)

    lying here :) ing. what SIBLIME DEVINE feeling with which you wrote! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sarrah Ibrahim (10/16/2012 10:58:00 AM)

    Ahh, what a talent! : } (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 93 Points Payal Parande (10/16/2012 9:45:00 AM)

    oh! how lovely...a love sonnet with deep and true born emotions...a pure joy to read

    thank you for sharing sir, i love it
    love
    payal (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 118 Points Yash Shinde (10/16/2012 9:20:00 AM)

    beautifully written well describes your thought................true love tale and desire................ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Saeed Jan (10/16/2012 8:57:00 AM)

    Superb.... Swept by feelings.... Having a universal msg behind, every person ll feel as if it is written for him.... U reminded me of myself as I saw my own story behind each line... The same yearning and hope to have uniformity... The similies are masterly handled and shows ur mastery over the art of poetry... U r poet by heart and poetry comes to U naturally.... (Report) Reply

Read all 17 comments »

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