This Is The Life. Poem by Mahfooz Ali

I shut my eyes.
The cool night air
chills my skin.
I sense,
I do not see,
Cliff walls.
Their stability
Further from me in reality
Yet closer,
To my mind.

My rigid body
Cuts intrusively
through inky water.
The sounds from above
Are muffled,
Or perhaps,
The sounds of this world
Are becoming amplified.

The waters
Like images in my mind
Swirl round me,
Inside me,
Forcing me
Into a sad awareness.

An angry awareness.
I have no control
I know I am powerless
Struggling
Useless
Against the current.

I wish I could cry.
Are there tears
trickling down my cheeks?
More likely,
my imagination.
Unsure of where I am
I continue.

My arms and legs,
Once strong
Now frail uselessly.
Disconnected,
Images begin to fade
Peace takes over me
And I know now


There were no tears.
Only smooth water
enveloping me
still aware
of my lack of control
I am no longer
Frightened.

Instead,
I take comfort in
My knowledge.
I rise to the surface
Breathe deeply.
Reveal in the crispness
I swim to shore
Shivering.

I am running,
To the highest cliff
I will jump again.

There will still be currents.
And struggles,
And images,
And fear.
But I am stronger now.
For all waters calmed
others are tumultuous.
For all struggles won
other wars are waged.
For all images faded
other are intensified.
For all fears overcome
new ones take their place.

I am aware
of reality
of my fallibility.
I am courageous
I will jump into the river
Again,
And again.

This is the life.