What Am I Paying For? Poem by Ana Z. M.

Am I a bad person?
What am I paying for?
I've been receiving so much punishments,
and not a bit of happiness.

I've been trying to behave,
I've been trying to be good,
but everything I do,
turns into something wrong.

I must be the cruelest being on earth,
for my payment to be this,
loosing you for ever,
and not having a chance to get you back.

Everything of me pushes you away,
Every thought, every feeling,
and the more you get close,
the more I have to face loneliness.

What am I paying for?
have I broken a heart? Have I hurt a friend?
If the answer is no,
then what am I paying for?