Valerie Dohren

Freshman - 2,007 Points (13 January 1947 / Southport)

What Becomes of Love That Falters

What becomes of love that falters
Skies that turn from blue to grey
Tenderness which coldness alters
Eyes then sadly turn away

Hearts bereft of gentle feeling
With the passing of the years
Love once at the altar kneeling
Turning thus to bitter tears

Arms that ever were enfolding
Kisses sweet as summer rain
Hands so clasped and tightly holding
Parted now as love doth wane

Lost in dreams to feel that splendour
So unbounded long ago
Whispered words then sweet and tender
Blown away, no more to know

Cold and dark the waking morning
Sorrow borne the new day brings
Ever sad the moment dawning
When the heart no longer sings

Submitted: Friday, November 16, 2012
Edited: Saturday, November 17, 2012

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  • Bronze Star - 7,085 Points * Sunprincess * (1/26/2013 8:07:00 AM)

    a beautifully written piece of the loss of love,
    but sure if we remain loyal and true
    then love will come again..we must have faith,
    maybe it will be not the love we expected
    but it will be love nonetheless
    a most fabulous write! (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 7,639 Points Sandra Feldman (12/31/2012 4:00:00 PM)

    You've done it again. Extremely vivid, and markedly sad
    .Like water, love can escape though our fingers and you describe the pain poetically, and perfectly (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 240 Points Ray Quesada (12/18/2012 10:41:00 PM)

    Valerie, a critic said of Mark Danielewski that he had a songwriter's heart as attuned to heartache as he was to Derrida's theory onthe sign. -- you too have your heart tuned as a songwriter does. this is so beautiful. Kerouac said something like poets carry the tears of thousands of years... your words are like a lightning rod, summoning the feelings of humanity down into a single burst, with you as catalyst. a perfect 10. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,391 Points Kevin Patrick (12/12/2012 11:18:00 AM)

    The heart will sing again, it will play a different tune. Heartfelt but rewarding read (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 555 Points Om Chawla (12/12/2012 12:44:00 AM)

    'Hearts bereft of gentle feelings....'
    You have captured the agonizing loneliness-'When the heart no longer sings'- following estrangement, so very well. An appreciable write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Thomas Hsi (12/10/2012 4:00:00 AM)

    You have an uncanny ability to delve into the arcane nature of human behavior. And equally important, you are a master at staging the literary settings that present so beautifully. I consider you a mentor. Much appreciation. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 150 Points Joseph Anderson (12/8/2012 1:27:00 PM)

    It is very sad and hurtful and so frequent. Has great emotional impact for us all. Hopefully, just another of your great poems (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 363 Points Juan Olivarez (11/29/2012 7:37:00 PM)

    Wonderful poem Val. I have been married for almost 40 years and I can honestly say, love has never faltered. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 134 Points Danny Draper (11/26/2012 6:42:00 AM)

    A fine poem of sadness that life will deliver, explored with great empathy and skill. Pain too is part of life and must and will be endured, but the rhythem and meter tell of life's pulse and its indefatigable propensity to prevail as does love if we are receptive. Thank you Val. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 807 Points Thomas A Robinson (11/24/2012 11:42:00 AM)

    had a great comment to this poem but my e-dog ate it.
    So now dejectedly I can only say that this to me is one of your best.
    Real pain and confusion here the bloody fingerprints all are pointing to you
    as the mastermind of crime here.Evidence beyond any doubt you are guilty
    of suffering here and must pay for your crime in time. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 141 Points Stan Petrovich (11/24/2012 5:05:00 AM)

    Recalling some long-forgotten time when poetry was more learned and specific than in most cases. You reflect here a large portion of my own life and again, I wish to thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Josh Dinkin (11/21/2012 6:47:00 PM)

    This is my new favorite poem, hands down. I feel the humanity in it. And words, though they will never fully convey our emotions, come as close as possible in this poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Stevie Taite (11/21/2012 3:37:00 PM)

    Dying love...... What causes it to become so ill? It is one of the saddest deaths on Earth, and if it stays the test of time, from the first magical, shared realisation, you must surely count yourself lucky. Up to your usually standards. excellent (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 663 Points Cynthia Buhain-baello (11/18/2012 8:36:00 PM)

    Excellent composition with perfected rhyme and rhythm, smooth flow and superb content. Love loses connection when there's no honesty. (Report) Reply

Read all 31 comments »

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