Treasure Island

Chuck Audette

(Poetry Hell, Vermont)

Wisdom Teeth Extraction

had to go to the dentist
'cuz my wisdom teeth were hurtin
He said 'we've got to pull them,
that I know for certain'

The first of the four, an upper
came out easy as you please
it was fully in -
didn't need much expertise

Then over to the lower right
(did i mention all those novacaine pokes?)
The dentist swore, for it was too tight,
and when pulling it, it broke)

'I have to cut and drill you! '
he said with a manic gleam in his eye
there was nothing I could do
but nod and trust this guy

'Close your eyes while I drill'
so began his boring pursuit
I felt a little ill
but he finally freed the root

he closed up the wound
said, 'these stitches will dissolve'
You're half-way done, Dude! '
so I steeled my resolve

Then the right upper
(there are names for these I bet)
he yanked it out so fast
I didn't even sweat.

Then onto number four
way out against my cheek
it turned to quite a chore
I tried hard not to freak

the crackling crunching ceased
It's ended, I thought with awe
then he showed it to me
'it came with a shard of jaw'

Then stitching and he'd done
his attendants placed some gauze
it wasn't very fun
but still I gave applause

I got to keep my teeth
and the bits and pieces, true
but when the toothfairy comes
will there be a bonefairy, too?

Submitted: Thursday, August 31, 2006
Edited: Monday, August 30, 2010

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Comments about this poem (Wisdom Teeth Extraction by Chuck Audette )

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  • nomad omnia (4/3/2010 2:53:00 AM)

    Never trust a dentist who call you 'dude'. Good one, Chuck. I cheated - had mine out under general knock-out: p. Nomad (Report) Reply

  • Linda Hepner (6/4/2009 2:07:00 PM)

    Dentists get a bad rap, except for the ones finding cracks and cavities that aren't there. Meanwhile, bits of us fall off and out, and nothin' you can do abaht it!
    L (Report) Reply

  • Alison Cassidy (4/2/2009 5:59:00 PM)

    A wise and woolly piece that brings back terrifying memories of childhood drilling and pulling (no wonder my dad had such large forearm muscles!) . You guessed it. Dad was a dentist (and a stoic of the 'old school) and I can still remember the terror of visits to see him in his 'rooms'. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (Report) Reply

  • fanniesson - (11/21/2006 10:21:00 AM)

    Good subject hiding right out in the open
    few if any could see it I’m sure.
    Not a pleasant read for me,
    probably not for most, when you get down to it
    wish I thought of it
    nice tight rhyming here (Report) Reply

  • Dee Daffodil (9/5/2006 9:44:00 AM)

    Hahahah...ohhh sorry Chuck...not laughing at your misery...just the last line grabbed me! ! I recommend sending your poem to anyone you know who has dental woes! !
    dee (Report) Reply

  • R H (9/3/2006 5:43:00 AM)

    A well polished tale, each stanza a perfect extract - ion of all that we fear from the dentist's chair - nicely injected with your trademark humour. Did you ever see Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman? ! A beaming smile, (without any wisdom teeth - hmm what does that say?) Justine :) (Report) Reply

  • Ernestine Northover (8/31/2006 3:17:00 PM)

    Does that mean you are left with no 'Wisdom' now Charles? You certainly put the pain into this one alright. A very gummy poem. Loved it.
    Love Ernestine XXX (Report) Reply

  • Brian Dorn (8/31/2006 12:08:00 PM)

    Chuck, as usual, you've graced us with another piece of wisdom to sink our teeth into... mine are hurting in the process. Great write! ! (Report) Reply

  • Esther Leclerc (8/31/2006 12:04:00 PM)

    Geez Louise, bud -! ! ! And you're still with us? ! I'd purposely forgotten the hell of those novocaine shots - THANKS for bringing that all back. A truly funny poem about a decidedly painful ordeal, Chuck! Now go make that tooth necklace with jawbone pendant! Est: ] (Report) Reply

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