Wondering Just What I Did Lack Poem by Mark Heathcote

You heard me swearing
I was half-crazed
my heart was breaking
it's time to separate.
Done all I can do …
time to drink those last few
drops of cyanide
time, I saw the world anew.
Look the blind, can't lead the blind
any more than I
can carry on loving you,
your heart, your love is
a crushing avalanche
there is no more purchase
nothing left I can cling onto
your walls are sheer
your cavernous heart long emptied.
Filled with ice, occasionally
hot springs that freeze on touch
circumvent new labyrinths
in which to pour out, spill out your guts
you ask forgiveness, ask for kindness
my support, for love and understanding
only to deceive - there is a vast open country
then later forget the warren-paths
you've made, you turn into a grinning polecat
putting back on your one true albino coat
I now sadly wear as a hat
wondering, just what I did lack.