You've never smoked, so how could you know
Exactly how a smoker's life goes
Well If you tell me all about it, every single detail
Then I'll know what it's like, how could I fail
So far you've mentioned the sheer sense of joy
Each time you light up one of those boys
But if there's more to add, no need for hesitating
Don't keep me wondering, wondering and waiting
You keep telling me that I haven't got a clue
Then you tell me it's so enjoyable, what am I to do
Enter your world of complete confusion
Or realise that smoking is a dastardly illusion
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