Valsa George Limerick Poems

What's the name of your car, asked Michael
Forgot the name, it starts with ‘T', said Nichole
"What a strange car
Never heard of it so far.
...

To be able to laugh is a great boon
All worries it will melt down soon
It is nice to practise that art
Sure it will give life a kick start
...

In a village, there lived a known thief
Who was very fond of eating fried beef
Ate it for breakfast n' lunch
For dinner and for brunch
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My wife told me to get her a lip gloss
By mistake I gave her a tube of glue
Now she keeps a severe grudge
She never lets her lips budge
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There lived a man with the name Nero
He wasn't another Nero nor a hero
He was only as bright
As the dim candle light
...

At night, lying down on my cosy bed
Beautiful rhymes keep coming to my head
On trying to capture them,
I succeed to put down some
...

As darkness spread and the light was out
I stayed wide awake all through the night
To see where the sun went
And lay inside my tent
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Each day he drank a bottle of rum whole
And in his liver was found a big hole
Sad, met with a sudden death
His doctor said in one breath
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Once he spotted a hive of honey bees
Upon a branch amid a clump of trees
He thought of taking honey
That would fetch him some money
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With broken hand, a man was screaming
As loud and shrill as a pig squealing
Said a man from behind
"You only broke your hand
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Two lovers secretly planned on a ‘date'
They agreed to meet at dead of the night
Into darkness, as they stole
Fell into a deep manhole
...

After coloring my head with dye
I leave my damp hair open to dry
Thus my age, I conceal.
Careful not to reveal,
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My neighbor's little son is so smart
In a write up on Grandparents, he wrote
"They never seem to hurry,
Any time, can tell a story
...

In the Kingdom of Fools, there was a poet
Who thought his poems were really great
Was a man of high pretence
But what he wrote made no sense.
...

As Corona strikes, world is in standstill
All around, we witness its massive kill
Terrible is the sight
We're groping in the night
...

"Shouldn't we observe our jubilee", asked Bri
"Shall we go out and have a turkey fry"?
In words as sharp as a knife,
Replied his angry wife.
...

After his booze, getting out of bed
In a timorous voice, he said;
"I am in my underwear
It's torn, please don't stare
...

There was an old man in Plymouth
Who had a set of false teeth
Once when he ate,
A piece of tough meat
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"It's our wedding Jubilee"- said Florence
to her sharp witted husband Lawrence
"How should we celebrate?
Shouldn't we make it real great? "
...

'Accept that to suffer is life
Tolerate your opponent without strife'
To this he did abide
But silently sighed
...

With a philosophic bent of mind
To his thoughts he was confined
Instead of loving his wife
He pondered over life
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Limericks are no more taught in schools
As they are thought fit only for fools
Poetic skills they don't hone
Sadly they are left alone
...

He went home gaily after a few pegs
Fell onto his bed dangling his soiled legs
Blissfully fell asleep soon
His wife came calling him 'loon'
...

The Science teacher told his eager class
Alas, I can't read without my eye glass
In rest room, left my testicles
(What he meant was ‘spectacles')
...

On her, his rapt eyes began to explore
The pull of his sharp eyes, she couldn't ignore
Like rippling waves in a pond
Rose in her an electric bond
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Now that he is an adolescent
Visited by dreams iridescent
He no more wants candy
But a little brandy
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On the stage, she performed a dazzling dance
The young and old sat alike with fixed gaze
She had magical skill
Everyone was in great thrill
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Guard your tongue before words you fling
Let them not fly as from a sling
Tongue is to taste
And never to bite
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I have a cat with fur as soft as silk
She always has an eye on my milk
A cutie, I love so much
Sometimes, she acts like a witch
...

He saw a girl who in looks was so sweet
Behind, on her buttocks gave her a pat
She turned with a frown
And knocked him down
...

He said, he couldn't spring into action
The doctor put him under traction
He found it cosy,
Being very lazy
...

As he went for a long country stroll
he discerned losing his heart and soul
to a lovely lass,
cutting fodder grass
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Her tired eyes have lost their past shine
On her feeble face, deep wrinkles line
Faded is her cheek
Of sadness they speak
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Most of my limericks are just fillers
Don't expect them to be thrillers
When I run short of words
They come to me as guards
...

A woman ran into the balcony
Husband ran behind yelling... "Stop, Honey
Why are you so dumb?
Kindly do not jump
...

There was a boy who loved custard
For a change, he ate it with mustard
Though it tasted awful
And the boy felt doleful
...

A patient to a doctor said so sore
"I can't bear this pain any more
Kill me…I want to die
My lips are going dry"
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A friend of mine eats lots of ice cream
At its sight his eyes would gleam
His name is Bri
Though a nice guy,
...

The zealous poet lay awake all night
When fancy tickled, he sat up to write
Scripted verse after verse
On topics diverse
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The beggar heard the sound of pouring rain
With no shelter, what he felt was deep pain
All day he sat and thought
Of his unlucky lot
...

He got down from the train with his baggage
Walked out through a dirty soiled passage
His attention was captured
By a bold lettered Placard;
...

It was an awfully sultry night
All was unusually quiet
Lying on the floor
Saw his ex wife at the door
...

"Days back my son swallowed my car's key"
Said the father to duty doctor, Abbey
"Why didn't you bring him before? "
Asked doctor a little sore
...

Brave Ben dreamt he was drowning in the sea
From killer waves, he struggled to be free
He woke up in fright
In the dead of the night
...

A lady was seen searching in the light
Though not stupid, she was far from bright
“What do you search? ”
“I look for my watch,
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An eighty year old was sent to a jail
The old man was denied even a bail
Kissed a girl in public
He injured her tender lip
...

A naughty porcupine lives on a hill
He has sharp and piercing quill
Nobody pets him,
Nobody frets him,
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After church service, a boy ran to the pastor
Telling him with a kind gesture
“When I become an adult
For you, some money I’ll donate
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On the lad, they had put all the blame
He hung his head in shame
He was called a glutton
For gobbling some mutton
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My neighbour is a real glutton
At a feast, he gobbled much mutton,
Besides all the meat,
He ate piles n' piles of sweet!
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