001 - B. O. - Poem by George Hunter
It sounds like a foghorn or a donkey braying.
An ominous sound, if you know what I’m saying.
But then you’ll realize, if you’re not a dope,
It’s just an old ad for Life Buoy Soap.
B.O. for Body Odor is their slogan
I tried it out in Hunter’s Hogan.
Guaranteed to get the stink right offa your back
After you’ve been fooling around in the sack.
Or working up a sweat playing ball
And they all can smell you way down the hall.
Use Life Buoy Soap it has it all
It don’t matter if you’re short or tall.
Be sure to lather up every day
And it will wash all your sweat away..
For next to godliness, it is said
Cleanliness should always rear it’s head.
Actually it has a built-in stink
That will really make you start to think.
It must contain some powerful ingredient
To make it be so very expedient.
Back in the thirties it came to fame,
Partly because of its different name.
And because of its orange colors
Which set it apart from all the others.
They say it will help you to feel fit
Without having to smell your own arm pit.
On this I’m sure I am unanimous
Where first I was so pusillanimous
The soap has such a distinctive smell
That everyone can always tell
That you used it to try and cover up
And make you smell like a buttercup
But really it didn’t smell floral at all
Just really made you reek of old Pine Sol.
Probably contains some chlorofluorooxysulfarooney
‘Cause it makes you smell like a looney tooney.
Anyways, it never passed my test
And I prefer my natural smell the best.
Yes, I would rather not bathe too much
Than have to use that stinking stuff.
So if you see me coming down the hall
Flatten yourself against the wall
And hold your nose until I’ve passed
To protect yourself from being gassed
I think I’ll switch to Irish Spring
Then maybe I’ll smell more dazzle-ing.
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