An Abusive Father Poem by RoseAnn V. Shawiak

As confidential as a prayer whispered from a child's lips,
brought out of anguish from a little one's heart, despair
branding his mind because he could not understand why his
father was an alcoholic.

Being so afraid of someone he loved, just didn't seem
right - not even to his childish mind.

Getting hit for not doing anything really wrong, maybe
just laughing with his brother in the same room as Dad
while he was watching T.V. What was the matter with that?

Wishing he could talk with his Dad without getting a
lecture on being bad, or put down, or told to clean his
room.

Why must his Dad always ignore his right to be heard, to
be listened to without being condemned?

A little heart so full of love for his Dad, afraid of
showing it, because he would be hurt.

Knowing his father was abused when he was a child gives
some understanding to his innocent mind.

But why can't his Dad stop and understand he's hurting a
little one just like his father used to do?

Can't he remember the pain, hurt, humiliation - the loss
of his self-worth? Why must he persist doing as his
father did?

It was never right and can't be justified no matter how he
tries, yet saying, 'My father would've socked me in the
jaw, if I did that at your age! '

It's amazing, Dad, how blind you can be, as you continue
hurting me.

Dad you can stop the pattern that drunkenness started
long ago, and learn to teach me how to grow up normal.

For one day I'll have children of my own and I'd rather
love, hug, keep them close, than do what you are doing
to me, or had done to you.

As confidential as a prayer whispered from a child's lips,
brought out of anguish from a little one's heart.

Despair branding his mind because he could not understand
why his father was an alcoholic as he cried his bruised
body and mind to sleep.