In the early morning
I venture outward, where the trees grow tall and
The deer run freely.
The deer are shy and timid, as I can be-
I call them my friends.
Sometimes people walk my path-
I call it my path because I want to own the world, the trail.
Sometimes people walk toward me and
For the moment it terrifies me, angers me, and makes me wish to run the other way.
Then, there are those people who walk closely behind me-
Inside of the fortress of my mind, I feel threatened by their presence and
I fear as if they are following me, invading my space.
I tolerate the wind and even love the way each gust caresses my arms
As it comforts me, while the beauty of the trees
Paint a scenic picture within the world of my thoughts.
But the moment I see somebody walking along my path, behind me
I feel that I am under attack.
I have been told by many that this is a delusion.
I remember having other delusions- some delusions of grandeur,
Delusions that people who truly loved me and wished me well
Wanted to persecute me. I remember many years ago
I believed that none but ordinary people were gods or goddesses,
I built altars to them out of cardboard coat boxes in the attic.
And there were the days when I refused to speak,
Would not leave my bedroom and lived in a fabricated world-
To me this was all reality.
Today, I still panic when I see others walking behind me.
I want to own the trail, the woodlands, to communicate with the deer,
In my own gentle and non threatening way.
I still fear those who approach behind me wish me harm-
But today I know that the fabricated world I lived in years ago was phantasmal and
There are people who love me and do not wish me harm.
Sometimes I can smile and greet approaching strangers and
Cardboard coat boxes are what they are- not altars
Someday perhaps I will believe people who walk behind me shall never harm me,
And as are those other delusions that at one time ruled my life,
This shall also come to my realization as being none but a delusion, and
As I keep walking forward in time this one also, shall be behind me-
Claudia Krizay's Other Poems
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Comments about this poem (Behind Me by Claudia Krizay )
Still I Rise
The Road Not Taken
If You Forget Me
Edgar Allan Poe
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
A Dream Within A Dream
Edgar Allan Poe
(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
(12 July 1904 – 23 September 1973)
Edgar Allan Poe
(19 January 1809 - 7 October 1849)
(10 December 1830 – 15 May 1886)
(28 November 1757 – 12 August 1827)
(16 August 1920 – 9 March 1994)
(30 May 1903 – 9 January 1946)
- Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
- Dreams, Langston Hughes
- The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
- I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
- If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
- A Dream Within A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
- If, Rudyard Kipling
- Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
- Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou
- The Rose that Grew from Concrete, Tupac Shakur