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(15-09-1995 / Den Helder, Netherlands)

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Bella and Edward: Predator and prey

There you stand as a predator,
Watching my every move,
Although you are a monster,
I cannot deny how graceful you are,
Silently slipping closer in the dark night,
I cannot feel sad that I may be looking death in the eyes,
For your beauty and my love for you takes all worries away.

You are not attacking yet now you are close enough,
You are in control, for now,
I do not know what goes on in your mind,
Nor do you know what goes on in mine,
I do not know how long you stood there,
So close to me,
Was it seconds or hours?
It felt like forever.

You give me one last look and turn,
I run after you,
Unwise as that may be,
You have already vanished though,
But this was not the last time I will see you,
For we can not be apart for long,
Dangerous as our love may be.

Submitted: Monday, September 28, 2009
Edited: Monday, October 05, 2009


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  • Lorenzo Costigliolo (11/10/2009 10:04:00 AM)

    This is a sensitive narrative of feelings many young lovers experience in the beginning of their romantic adventure. It is well thought out, but it lacks the refinement that only time will help you develop through exposure to technicl applications of simile, metaphors and general figurative language elements. You are young and you are well on the way to being able to write poetically on a far more impressive level. Keep writing more and more because that is the experience that will bring out the best of you that is yet to come.

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  • Patti Masterman (9/28/2009 9:13:00 AM)

    Wow, what a contest you've described. I'm entranced; that one chapter has ended and I sp want to read the next one. (smile)

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