John Kipling Lewis

Rookie (3/12/1968 / Manhattan, KS)

Blackberry


Hold your chain and read as you walk. A zombie
dragging his chain.

You must obey when the chain rattles and clangs.

Pulled to task by your masters.
Slave to the text from your masters.

You no longer work only at the office,
but at the whim of the man above you.

Did they raise your pay when they gave
you your chains or did you feel a sense
of excitement, honoured to have such
a prize.

Submitted: Saturday, June 23, 2007
Edited: Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Form:


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  • Rookie Kath Moore (11/5/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    5. Starts out ok, but then you tell the reader the point of the poem. Show, don't tell. Use the metaphor to explain yourself. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Donna Robertson (8/3/2007 6:42:00 PM)

    Speaks to everyone (well almost) but it's not woven and crafted as well as some of your other poems. (Report) Reply

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